Posted by: wanton me | March 13, 2008

Term 1: a melancholic reflection

Hi.

I’m in school at 5pm Thursday during my March Holidays, because I had my work review meeting earlier, and also because I have to set mid-year exam papers and stuff. It’s not really been a holiday (hey it’s not just the kids who are complaining!) because I was occupied with camps and excursions, and I spent the whole of yesterday resting because I was simply too tired.

Term 1 has been great. Everyone appreciates me (or so it seems), and I don’t mind being given stuff to do because that’s when I can perform. The management has been talking good things of me and my RO especially believes in me. The principal even praised me a couple of times. This may sound like rodomontade (dictionary.com word of the day thursday march 13 2008!), but I’m glad my efforts have paid off and I’ll continue to show everyone what I’m made off.

The down side of it all is that I spend so much time in school; and in trying to become the best teacher I can be, I have much less time for everything else, especially for my love. Inamorata has been tremendously patient and understanding, and I too understand her frustration. But when I’m one of 2 teachers stuck at the camp, and the other teacher is the CO, there is nothing I can do but just be present. The big picture is the kids are thankful for my presence, and it made me feel that it was worth it. What I can do now is to enjoy quality time with Inamorata whenever I can.

RO has kinda projected me to be the SH (subject head; one rung below HOD) in 3 years. I am hoping to learn as much as I can. Sometimes I don’t know if people overestimate me; but hey it’s certainly better than underestimating me.

As for relationship with students, all I can say is that I’m trying to build rapport with them. It’s been 10 weeks, and a variety of ways have been used to win them over: the soft approach, the hard approach, the guilt approach, whatever you name it,  I believe I’ve tried it. Now I’m pretty familiar with the students I’m teaching, and the style of discipline which I will practise. I hope they realise I’m a non-judgemental and fair teacher. I think this is very important. No favourites. All equals.

With teachers, it’s been good. I’ve gotten to know some of them better (especially the male teachers due to camps), but it’s also sad to find certain teachers constantly degrading the system with negative comments. And goodness knows why they find me as their listening ear. I try hard to remain neutral and not be swayed.

Well, that’s a quick reflection of what has happened. I wish I have the time to blog more, but as it is, there really just isn’t enough time and energy for lots of things. All the books I bought during December remain untouched. And I only heard about the story of Mas Selamat 1-2 days after it happened! I hardly read newspapers anymore; I only surf CNA and IHT whenever I’m free. When I’m home I am so tired I don’t do much. Or at least I try to do something but I end up falling asleep. This is a big flaw which I have to correct. I know teachers are supposed to be busy, but there is something wrong with my system which I have to rectify. Otherwise I think I will get burnt out in another term or so!

There. Is this melancholic enough? Inamorata’s birthday is coming and I’m bringing her to sit the Singapore Flyer tomorrow. I can’t wait. =)

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