Posted by: wanton me | June 19, 2008

Don’t mess with the Zohan – just don’t watch it.

SPOILERS from here onwards

Well if you have actually caught the theatre trailer (you can just go youtube if you haven’t), that’s the biggest spoilers already.

That’s because the funniest parts (if funny at all) are those found in the trailers.

I’m not sure if it’s the conservative Singaporean market (or those dull people in the cinema including me), or it’s more catered to the American audience, but many many parts of the show…

are not funny. at all.

If you watch 周星驰 aka Stephen Chow’s past shows, it’s totally slapstick, but oh so funny!

Adam Sandler’s latest work is totally slapstick, and oh not so funny though.

It’s retardedly (is there such an adverb) exaggerated right from the start, like how he and the terrorist plays ping pong with a bomb, or how he can butterfly stroker faster than the water vehicle, or like you know, how he can simply catch a bullet fired from point blank range.

I watch comedies with an open mind. I tell myself it’s a comedy; I’m here to relax and enjoy, but it’s just not funny.

Sure, there are funny moments, like erm… wait lemme think….oh yah, Rob Schneider’s role as a taxi driver. Think he has the funniest parts. Other cameos include a very big sized Mariah Carey (as herself), Chris Rock (as another cabbie) and John McEnroe (as himself).

Perhaps another distasteful part of the show that irks the dull, conservative me is that it’s so much about sex.

BTW, it’s still SPOILERS. All the way. So I’m just gonna save your hard earned money.

When Zohan’s friend walks into his mum’s room to see Zohan behind his Mum, he was shocked and asked Zohan how could be bang his mum. I was thinking it’s not, because the body parts are strategically blocked by certain things in the room, like Austin Powers movie.

Turns out that he really banged her. -_-

And later when he cuts hair for his clients (mostly old ladies), he actually bangs them as well.

What the. Funny meh?

He told his barber colleague (whom I thought was gay) to sexually arouse his clients by touching his penis onto the women’s shoulders.

That was pretty funny because of the man’s face. But when the camera zoomed in on the THRUSTING action, it’s more like..er.. ok.

And for an N16 show, you get to see Adam Sandler’s butt, as well as the mother’s (I mentioned earlier).

One good thing I gained from the show is how friendship can be forged, and how we should stop fighting (Israel vs Palestine etc), but IS THIS A SHOW ABOUT FRIENDSHIP?!

It’s a comedy that didn’t make me laugh much.

And when the family were kicking the kitten (juggling like a football) like their traditional game, I heard a few giggles in the cinema and they stopped, probably thinking oh shit that’s not funny.

I somehow believe that if cats and dogs were flying all over in Stephen Chow’s shows it would be damn hilarious. Hmm.

Ah well. Not gonna spend too much time on this crap. Don’t watch it. Not even if you have a free ticket. Yeah. Just go see the trailer.

Here, I’m being so nice to search it for you.

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